


Deserving of Love (There's No Such Thing)

by RaineyDay



Series: Febuwhump 2021 [10]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Glamour Springs (The Adventure Zone), Lucretia needs a hug, Poisoning, Sad The Director | Lucretia, Self-Worth Issues, Taako Has Issues (The Adventure Zone), Taako Needs a Hug (The Adventure Zone)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29378913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaineyDay/pseuds/RaineyDay
Summary: Febuwhump day 12: "who are you?""And you deserve it too, Taako, to be admired by every living person you encounter. She finds you a stagecoach, a supplier, an audience. You're Taako, from TV! And you are so, so loved." - Griffin McElroy, episode 66.OrLucretia attends one of Taako's shows. You know the one.
Relationships: The Director | Lucretia & Taako
Series: Febuwhump 2021 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138502
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	Deserving of Love (There's No Such Thing)

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many feelings about Lucretia and Taako's friendship. And especially about that bit in episode 66, where Lucretia is trying to make these perfect lives for her family, because they deserve the best- and how that ended.
> 
> And then I had a very painful 'what if' canon divergence idea, and this story was born!

Lucretia hadn't been able to check in on her family in a little while, and it was making her antsy. She didn't like the fact that she'd had to send them away in the first place, but she couldn't have done this with them around. She'd done her best to find them good lives to live until she could bring them back home, but the longer this went on, the more chance there was that something bad would happen to them. This had already gone on for so much longer than she'd anticipated, and the lives she'd made for them were designed to be temporary.

She kept checking in on them, when she could, but she knew that it was like putting a bandaid on a sword wound. She couldn't fix many of the problems that might arise from a distance, and she couldn't control the vast complexity of the entire plane, but checking in on them was still _something_. It made her feel less useless at least. And she wasn't helpless to support them either, if she did notice any problems. Even if her Bureau had been disappointingly unsuccessful in retrieving their relics, she still had quite a few resources and knowledge and power through it.

And- she just missed her family. It was the result of her own actions, so she couldn't complain, but there was nothing saying that she wasn't allowed take comfort on the matter where she could.

And if that comfort came in the form of watching a performance by a man who had become a brother to her, well, there was no one who could judge her.

It was a risk to attend any of Taako's shows. He couldn't remember her, and he likely wouldn't notice anything odd about the same person attending multiple shows if they were spread out across time, but she couldn't guarantee that. And she couldn't let him see her too often, or he would learn to recognize the strange woman who followed him around, even if he didn't remember her as a member of his family.

But she hadn't checked in on him in a few years, and she was willing to take the risk. The thought of not only seeing Taako again, but eating something he'd made, something that tasted like _home_ was too tempting to resist.

The town where Taako was performing was a mid-size frontier town, but one with a good reputation and a rapidly growing population. No one would question a stranger in the crowd.

Lucretia was entranced by the show, delighted to see Taako so in his element, looking happy and confident. She watched him more than she watched the food, because she already knew that the food would be amazing.

Taako handed out the food himself- likely in order to better receive compliments, Lucretia guessed- and she fought to keep her expression under control as he smiled at her- his fake smile, for strangers he didn't want to offend- and handed her a meal that she'd had dozens of times before.

She ate slowly, wanting to make it last, knowing that she wouldn't have anything else like it for a long time- if ever.

She watched the crowd around her as she ate, an instinctive habit. She was a chronicler and a refugee and the leader of a secret organization. Observation came as easily as breathing.

The crowd was happy, enjoying their meal, offering compliments on the show and the food, which in turn made Taako happy. He'd always so loved being loved.

The only person who wasn't happy must be her.

Though- actually- there was another unhappy person. Taako's assistant, she remembered. He'd stayed off-stage for the most part, but had helped collect tickets and had brought out a few supplies during the show. He stood by the caravan car she'd decorated for Taako, scowling and tapping his foot impatiently as he stared at Taako.

Which was weird. If he knew Taako at all, he ought to know that he wasn't the type to duck out of the spotlight when it was still shining so favorably. But it wasn't any of her business, so she turned her head away and resumed her observation.

Her skills at observation weren't enough to prepare her for what happened shortly after, as the crowd began to grow uneasy and unhappy, and people started to drop.

It happened so quickly, but it was undeniable as the crowd began to die. When people began to choke and seize and fall, Lucretia automatically sought out Taako's eyes- a reflex born over a century- but of course, he wasn't looking back at her. He was staring at the crowd in horror and confusion, eyes darting around to take in everything.

And then he did meet her eyes, and his were full of terror and guilt, and he looked away first.

Whatever poison this was- it had been in the food. It must have been, even if Lucretia had no idea how it could have gotten there. Taako obviously hadn't done it himself, but that didn't leave a lot of alternate options.

But whatever the cause, it couldn't be her priority at the moment, she realized, as she noted her sudden, horrible headache and the start of cramps in her stomach.

She had- over the century, they'd all learned to carry a variety of survival supplies on their person at all times, and that was a habit that was even more important now, when she was alone and when she couldn't expect to wake up again at the end of the year.

She had a powerful anti-poison somewhere in her bag, she knew it. She just had to get it with her shaking hands.

A part of her noted the way that the assistant had grabbed Taako by the arm and was trying to drag him along to the caravan cart. Taako was shaking his head emphatically, refusing to go along, but not doing anything other than looking around helplessly.

He saw her again, and maybe it was the determined fervor with which she was moving, or maybe it was some subconscious awareness, but something prompted him to run to her side.

"What are you looking for?" he said, in a rush, and his voice broke her heart, so choked and afraid and guilty.

"Anti- antidote," Lucretia managed, and Taako's eyes lit up with determination, and he started pawing through her bag a lot faster than she could have at the moment.

"This?" he asked, pulling out a vial and shoving it in her face.

Lucretia nodded, hands reaching for it feebly. Taako pulled it back away from her, and the hurt of that made her whimper until she realized that he was just pulling the cap off for her.

Taako forced the vial into her mouth, and she drank quickly, feeling the magic begin to do its work. It would be a little bit before she was okay, but she knew that she was out of danger now.

"I don't have much," Lucretia said, shifting forward slightly to peer into her bag. "But there should be six more of those."

She and Taako immediately started picking the rest out, moving as smoothly together as she ever had with any of her family members, despite everything.

As soon as Lucretia found one, she shoved it at Taako.

"Take it! Before you get sick!" she said. He seemed okay, and maybe he hadn't been exposed- but- but she couldn't _risk_ that. Taako was family. He couldn't die. She couldn't let it happen. She'd rather he take it and not need it than not take it and die, no matter if that risked depriving someone who was definitely poisoned- no matter how much of a bad person it made her that, after all this time, when it came down to immediate life or death, she refused to put the world before her family.

"I'm fine!" Taako said, staring at her, incredulously. "I didn't eat any of the food. I- wouldn't deserve this if I had anyway."

Lucretia was shaking her head before he finished, feeling her heart shatter at his words. The words betrayed an insecurity that she had never wanted to see in any of her family members, that was all the more devastating from one of the ones who had always seemed to confident.

"I don't care!" She insisted, still pushing it at him. He still didn't take it, and finally she accepted that he wouldn't.

She tried to reassure herself that Taako wasn't an especially selfless person, and despite the words and the situation, he probably wouldn't just let himself die. Not knowingly, anyway.

It worked well enough to get her to turn away and try to find somebody to help.

The problem was that there were so many people in the crowd. Far more than could be helped by her supplies. And they were suffering.

She forced her mind to go into triage mode, to push away the horror so that she could actually _do_ something. It looked like some of them were already dead, which ruled them out. And if they were close enough to death that they looked it at a glance, then they were ruled out as well. They didn't have enough supplies or time to risk giving it to someone that might just die anyway.

There were a couple children- young enough that they could split a vial, and she moved to them, pouring half down the throats of either. Both of them sat up with teary expressions.

"Don't move too much yet," she told them. "Go sit on the stage, and wait for someone to check on you."

They nodded, shakily, and started tiptoeing through the crowd of dying audience members.

She kept looking around, and found Taako still at her bag, staring around at the crowd and frozen in place.

She didn't have time to help him decompress, but she didn't want to leave him there either, so she shook him by the shoulders quickly, and pointed to someone nearby who wasn't too far gone.

"Help them!" She instructed, and Taako nodded absently, following directions without thinking too hard about it.

She only had two more vials herself and there were no more convenient options like the children, so she turned a dispassionate eye on the people around her, who had started to notice what she and Taako were doing and were clamoring for help.

She tuned out the pleas, because they would only break her heart and slow her down at a moment when she needed to move quickly and decisively, but she knew that they would come back again later, at night, asking her why she wouldn't save them.

She looked for wedding rings or markings of careers that were essential- anything that might indicate that this person could not be lost. It was a cold and imperfect method, and part of her was screaming at the callousness, but what else was she supposed to do?

She made her choices and moved to help them. After the first, Taako came back to her, and she pointed to someone else and he went. She saved the last person she could, and joined Taako, who moved without instruction this time to pour the vial down the throat of one last victim, and then there was nothing else Lucretia could do but watch as the audience kept dying, despite the best efforts of the clerics and healers who had finally started to arrive.

The survivors had all collected on the stage. Seven of them. A pitiful number of survivors from a disaster like this, but it was what they had.

Taako had bolted. But he hadn't gotten far. The caravan cart was gone- she assumed stolen by Taako's assistant, which was another point in her mental tally against him. Because someone had done this, and it hadn't been Taako. That left the assistant as the only other person who had been near the food, and therefore Lucretia's number one suspect.

She had seen the direction that Taako had run in, and knew him well enough to be sure that she could find him, so she darted after him.

It was difficult, because her body was still weak from the poisoning, and she found herself panting within only a few moments of her chase.

Taako found her before she could collapse, grabbing her and forcing her to sit down before she fell.

"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded. "You're gonna make yourself sick."

"I was looking for you," she said, the vulnerability of the moment forcing the honesty out of her by leaving her with no other words or lies to offer.

"Why?" Taako asked. "Look at- look at what I did! To everyone there! To you!"

He was a mess, and it made Lucretia want to cry. He looked absolutely wrecked, to a degree that she'd rarely seen before.

"It wasn't your fault," Lucretia denied. It couldn't have been. She knew that. She had no idea why he would believe it was.

"Why do you care about me?" he burst. "You don't even know me! Look lady- there's a reason I'm alone, and it's because I'm not worth caring about. And this"- he pointed back at the crowd- "is proof!"

Lucretia couldn't hold back a sob at that.

"That's not true. And even if it was, I still care!" she insisted. He needed to know that. She needed to help him. She'd done this to him, and she wanted to be sick over it. None of this would have happened if she had just found the relics faster. If she had found a better, smarter way. This wasn't his fault. It was hers.

"Who are you?" Taako said, staring at her like some part of him knew that he should recognize her. "Why are you like this?"

"I'm a friend," Lucretia responded, making a decision. She pulled out her Stone of Farspeech, and dialled for transport. She had to get Taako somewhere safe, because she knew that, to most people, he would seem the obvious suspect responsible for this tragedy. "I'm going to get you out of here."


End file.
